Friday, September 4, 2009

I am not ok either

My daughter Cinderella wrote this awhile back because she can hardly bear people asking her if she is ok.


Are you okay?


 A piece of my heart is gone forever, I am not okay.


I may smile, laugh and make jokes, but I am not okay.


The pain in my heart hurts so badly and I am not okay.


It is hard for me to get out of bed everyday, I am not okay.


I am able to function everyday, but I am not okay.


Sometimes I want to end it all and I am not okay.


How can I go through life without him, I am not okay.


I am not the same person I once was, I am not okay.


Some people say I am strong, but that does not mean that I am okay.


I am really weak inside and I am not okay.


I want him back so badly and I am not okay.


I pray to the Lord to give me strength, but I am not okay.


 


Please stop asking if I am okay.


I am not ok either.


I can not fix anything.


I would if I could.


I can not change anybody.


People do as they choose.


I still want to scream some days.


And I do.


I wish I could go back in time.


But I can not.


I wish for my family to heal.


But I know they never will.


I still have tears everyday.


I am afraid of the day I don't.


I can not change anything.


No, I am not ok either.

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4 Comments:

Anonymous MYRTLE minert said...

To Cinderella & Julianna,
I look at you and I know you are not o.k. Even though we smile and laugh together, I know your hearts are aching. I wish I could ease the pain but the words are not there. I think of that sweet little boy everyday and also you both are on my mind a lot.Just know I love you guys.
I am not okay either.
Grandma M

September 4, 2009 at 2:45 PM  
Anonymous liberal army wife said...

I wish so much that someone could heal this pain for you and Cinderella. We can't, only time might ease it a little. We think of you all.

LAW

September 5, 2009 at 5:41 PM  
Anonymous juliannah said...

I know mommie

September 6, 2009 at 5:46 PM  
Anonymous juliannah said...

Thanks LAW. I hope to get back to Parent's Zone soon. My mind is still so consumed.

September 6, 2009 at 5:48 PM  

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