How do You Survive Deployment?

I get this question quite a bit from co-workers, friends and family members. How do I do it? Well, I might say, "Very carefully." The truth is I do not always have a good time dealing with it. Even though my son is not in war zone, so to speak, I still worry and realize he is still a target. I find the not knowing aspect to be the hardest.

 

I cope by working on his Christmas care package, writing emails to him and updating his deployment website. I am so fortunate to be able to follow his deployment on FaceBook and Twitter. I also look at Marine, Naval and Unit websites quite regularly. I have said it before and I will say it again. Google is my friend.

 

Surviving deployment is made a little easier for me because I have many friends and family that understand when I get a little upset. Even though this is a non-combat deployment, there are other issues such as financial problems. I have to get his car registered this week and I have a feeling the experience will be less than pleasurable. Power of Attorney is not the end all to every situation that arises.

 

I also believe that we, the people back home can help ourselves survive by doing whatever we can, be that standing with the Patriot Guard, becoming a Soldiers' Angels or just shaking the hand of a vet and saying "Thank you." For some joining support groups or online communities such as Marineparents.com can help coping on a daily basis.

 

Deployment is hard any way you look at. 

So, how do you survive deployment?

The Targets

As parents, we all worry about out children. Worry is something that starts long before our children are born. Then we realize the worry will never end. As parents of military members, we share another fear. Fear, we dread hearing the words, “Mom, Dad. I will be deploying on….” Those words pull on our heart even more because we know they will intentionally be in harm’s way.

What we try not to fear is when they are stateside on a base or post is their safety. The murder of 12 soldiers and 1 police officer on Fort Hood came as such a shock. Were they not supposed to be safe?

When my son deployed this fall on a naval ship I knew in my mind that all would probably be well. However, to be honest watching that ship sink smaller into the horizon left me with a pit in my stomach. I wanted to jump in the ocean and bring him back. I think about him every night before I go to sleep. I wonder where he is. I wonder if he will be safe while in port. No, I am sure I do not have the same fear as a mother of a service member in Afghanistan or Iraq, but fear is still fear.

When my son came home from boot camp, he told me that he is not allowed to travel in uniform. Why? Because he is a target. A target? My Son?

Last week we found out just how much of a target our children are. It is shameful, but real. It is why I lay awake at night.

A Christmas Tree for my Son

I am preparing LCpl Honda's Christmas care package. Since he will not be here for the holidays I wanted to bring a little holiday spirit to him. I have been agonizing over what to send to him. He just keeps telling me he does not need anything. I know he is not deprived of anything since he is deployed on a Navy ship, but still I want to send him something!

Today I stopped at Walgreens and I this tree. I love it! The clerk loved it! Especially when she found out it was going to a deployed service member. Now my care package think tank is in full gear. Watch LCpl Honda, Christmas is coming!

My Son, Deployed

Visit my son's deployment site:

http://jacksdeployment.shutterfly.com/

Military Monday - LCpl Honda at Sea.

Here is a pic of LCpl Honda working on the flight deck in Combat Cargo. He is the one one the right. The Marines are moving a net that is used to transport cargo, food and other supplies from the the cargo ships and between the Navy ships. Combat Cargo also aids in assisting visitors or military personnel arriving and departing from the ship. It does not matter how high up in rank the visitor may be. Combat Cargo personnel is in charge on the flight deck.

LCpl Honda will be home on leave this weekend and then will deploy in Sept. It is going to be a long 7 months. He will however get to visit quite a few ports in many countries. Anyway, here he is:

 

God Bless our Troops. Happy Military Monday!

Military Monday - At Sea

I am a little late with this. There is a new series, "At Sea" on the Military Channel featuring the US Navy and the US Marines. It actually started last night, Aug. 9th. It is a three episode special focusing on Naval ships.  The second episode airs tonight Aug. 10th at 10pm eastern time and concluding with the third episode on Tues. Aug. 11th. Hopefully it will repeat at another time. There is an excellent article about the series here.

The series focus is to let the American people know how the Navy and Marines work together and what these joined forces do when they are at sea. Our armed forces are made up of real people who have chosen to serve the American people and the series conveys this message to the viewer.

LCpl Honda is currently on the USS Bonhomme Richard preparing for an upcoming  MEU. This is why I am especially interested in this program. He currently works on the fight deck in Combat Cargo. He and other Marines and Sailors are responsible for loading and unloading cargo and making sure that people get on and off the Helicopters safely.

Go to the Military Channel website and you can explore an aircraft carrier interactively, find out more about the program, "At Sea" and learn about ships of the future.

Military Monday - Signs of Respect

In Sullivan Illinois, the residents have found a great way to honor their military residents serving in the US Armed Forces. When many were deployed to Afghanistan in 2004, the soldier's names were nailed to lampposts. As more and more young people volunteered in Sullivan, population 4,400, the parents decided to keep up the tradition.

More than a hundred town residents have served abroad and dozens more will still deploy to either Iraq or Afghanistan.  Some names have hung more than once while spouses and siblings are displayed two to a post.

This is the town's small, informal way of showing its respect to those members of the community who for the most part joined the military out of patriotism.

In Sullivan, the effort to support military personnel and their families includes churches, care package packing parties and coffee klatches. The wonderful thing here is the residents have taken their support an additional step by putting up the signs and honoring their military even further.

As we military family members know, support is imperative during deployment. It is hard for non-military people to understand the fear and helplessness when a loved one deploys for a war zone. The signs are a great way of reminding people on a daily basis that someone's family member is in harm's way and protecting each and every one of us.

Since my son will soon be deployed my need for support and understanding grows with each passing day. I think doing something like this in my hometown would be a great comfort to me. Maybe since this story is out other towns might want to do something like this too.

So I say spread the word and maybe this could grab some momentum and before we know it many towns and cities could be demonstrating yet one more way to say thank you to our brave military.

~

Comment about A Mother's Silent Scream

Laurie, another Marine mom left this comment about my Parent's Zone article A Mother's Silent Scream: Coping with Impending Deployment.

Your story is mine. My son is USMC Lcpl. somewhere in the world traveling as I write this to his first deployment. God help me I had no idea I could hold my breath this long, let alone how long it will take until he is safely back home.

My motto is "It is what it is." I also avoid the subject w/ non-military families. It is just too difficult. I am consumed at the moment, looking for distractions and move between pride and fear every second.

I remind myself that I (we) raised a Marine and that he represents everything the embodies the few and the proud. He is my hero in every sense of the word.

Set your intentions high and know that our fears are insignificant compared to the job our boys have volunteered to do. Find peace in friends and family, and remember to have courage. Our boys sent to war need to know that we will be okay.

Thank your son for me for his service to our country. Thank you for raising a Marine.
Semper Fi,
Laurie

It is good to know that we are not alone. Sometimes it feels that way. It gives me great comfort to belong to this huge "family."

Thanks Laurie and your LCpl will remain in our thoughts and prayers through his deployment and when his feet are again on American soil.

A Mother's Silent Scream: Coping with Impending Deployment

This is my newest post to appear on Parent's Zone

My son, LCpl Honda is set to deploy to the Sandbox later this year. It is still a few months off so I decided I just cannot freak out and go out of my mind with worry just yet. Nevertheless, I have to admit that each day that comes to pass, I feel a scream welling up inside of me. I know that this is probably normal and I know that I am not alone in feeling this way.

When my nephew, Cpl Red went on his first deployment I watched my sister, Crafty go through this process. I was with her when she had to say goodbye as his unit left. That experience is forever stamped in my memory. I watched other parents, wives, girlfriends and children say goodbye to their loved ones. I saw the look on their faces. I came home and told my mom, "I don't want to ever have to do this again." However, in my heart I know I would.

I remember when I was very young and Vietnam ended. I naively thought that there would not really be any more wars. Why? I guess because I was young and not very informed about the way of the world. I never ever thought that a child of mine might have to go off to combat. I think after 911 that changed. With my daughter, Cinderella, active duty army at the time, for the first time ever, I felt the fear that I feel now.

I have only told family about LCpl Honda's deployment. I cannot bear to divulge this information to other friends and co-workers just yet. LCpl Honda worked at the same place I worked before going off to boot camp. So everyone there likes him and knows him well. I just cannot bear the sympatric looks that I know will come. Please do not get me wrong. I know people mean well, but non-military families just do not have the understanding. It is not their fault. They are just not in the situation.

I have also found that I purposely do not do things like watch war movies. My husband wanted to watch 'Saving Private Ryan' this past weekend. I could not do it. HBO is replaying 'Taking Chance' at the end of the month. It is about a fallen Marine being escorted home. I plan to record it, but I do not think I will watch it until this deployment is over and my son and nephew are home safe.

I am not sure how well I will cope in the days ahead, but I will at least try to "soldier on" and if anybody asks, I will just reply with, "Good to go."

 

Predeployment Training: Making Warriors

This is my newest post to Parent's Zone.


LCpl Honda is currently training for an upcoming deployment. Since I am always interested in what he is doing, I decided to ask him some questions and get his take on the training he is receiving.

Predeployment training is very intense and designed to teach the Marines what conditions could arise on a combat deployment. Marines train in realistic towns with actual Iraqi people playing citizens and terrorists alike. These "actors" prepare the Marines to react a certain way when they are deployed to places like Iraq and Afghanistan. It is vital that the Marines learn how to interact and in turn to watch reactions of the people playing these parts in order to ensure the most utmost safety conditions.

Marines learn how to conduct raids under live fire-like conditions. They learn the safest ways of securing a town or building. One technique is using buddy rushing by running and covering each other while advancing on a target. A squad may start out together but end split up into two "buddies.”

Jumping out of helicopters is another vital training exercise because that might be the only means of getting the Marines to a location. Marines are trained to slide down a fast rope and be able to land without injuring themselves on the ground. They are instructed on how to deal with the rotor wash air coming down from the rotors and the brown out dirt that is kicked up from the ground. LCpl Honda says that the instructors are very good at helping the Marines to jump successfully.

LCpl Honda says that the most important thing about the training is working together. This has been emphasized since the Marines were recruits in Boot Camp. "You have to look out for the guy next to you and he has the do the same." said LCpl Honda. The training is really a dress rehearsal for the actual theater.

The Marines have no idea what will happen during training. There could be a riot, a sniper on a roof or terrorist hold up in a building. The element of surprise prepares them to expect anything during deployment. Better to make a mistake during training than during actual combat situations.

I asked LCpl Honda if he felt he was ready for deployment. "Well," he said, "I am not through with training yet so not quite." but he continued, "I will be." He also said that most of the Marines feel the same way as him.

He closed with, "We get the best training possible." and more importantly, he added, "Our leaders and instructors prepare all of us to come home."

I found pictures of LCpl Honda's unit in training here. I don't know if he is in any but it illustrates a lot of the training.

Military Monday

I have decided to start a new weekly addition to my blog. Military Monday. I hope to highlight some event each week on Monday.

But I am going to start this with the focus on my son, LCpl Honda. You see he is in an intense month-long training away from his base. He called me this weekend and I'm sure some of you know that he is supposed to deploy on a ship in Sept and sail around the ocean for a few months.

Side note: This changes on a weekly basis.

So now he is pretty sure the deployment will involve either Iraq of Afghanistan. This does not surprise me. The caveat is he confided in me that he is scared. I am sure this is normal but it is hard when your 29 year son tells you he is afraid. I just continue to be strong and tell him to buck up buddy! He reads this blog sometimes so maybe some of you can pray for him and think about him.